Why don’t you try? : How to manage your feelings after your loved one has died
Losing someone close to you can be devastating, especially if you have been caring for them.
Immediately after a death, there are usually a lot of practical matters to deal with, such as registering the death and arranging the funeral.
Family and friends tend to be around more at this time. So often, it’s only when all the practicalities have been handled, and the people around you get back to their everyday lives, that you really start to focus on your own feelings.
Everyone reacts differently to becoming bereaved. There is no right or wrong way to deal with how you feel about this. As well as coping with the loss of the person you looked after, you may find you need to cope also with the loss of your caring role.
You may feel a whole range of emotions, from relief at having some time to yourself, to guilt at feeling that way, to wanting to make some big changes, to feeling exhausted and alone and unable to do much at all.
The death of the person you looked after may mean that the relationships you built up with many of the professionals involved in their care come to an end.
Carers also talk about losing contact with friends and family because of the demands of their caring role, and feeling quite isolated.
Getting in touch with old social contacts or new people may be far from what you feel like doing when you have just lost someone, so take things at a pace that feels right for you.
You may find that some people seem awkward around you and are unsure what to say after the person you looked after has died. They want to do and say the ‘right thing’ but are not sure what that is, or they feel uncomfortable expressing that. If you feel able, tell the people around you what you need from them and how they can help. Close family and friends may also be able to help you do this, as they are likely to be the people who know you best.
Talking about what has happened, and about the person who has died, can help you to work through the feelings you may have. Friends and relatives who knew the person who died and can share memories of them with you can be a great source of support. Talking to other people who have been bereaved, and who have a good understanding of what you may be going though can also help.
Here’s a tip for you to try this week :
Book an appointment with a member of the Bridgit Carer Coach team, Speak and share your feelings with your family and friends and close support network, Support yourself by recognising when you need more help, Join any local friendship centres or community groups which interest you, Call a friend or family member this week and make a arrangement to see them, Contact Cruse Bereavement Care if you need additional support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/,
You can visit the Bridgit Shop at anytime to find our what products and services can support you.